Tender

I just came down from Bode's room after reading with him post-bedtime routine. I found a long time ago that bedtime, for him, is the best time to talk. My child who used to respond to every question or request for conversation with "i don't know" or "i don't remember" would and still does open up at bedtime. While at times it may be a ploy to stay up later, i'm happy that he'll share with me.

Tonight i'd hugged him and tucked him in and was about to walk out of his room when his arms went up again for another hug. I obliged and when i was hugging him he said something about how his tummy hurts all day long at school. How it's so loud in his classroom that he sometimes can't hear when something important is being said. And again, that his tummy hurts.

I asked him about his teacher. If she tries to keep the kids quiet or better behaved. He said she does but the kids don't listen. And that a lot of kids are up running around. There are a number of "high need" kids in his class, for what that's worth. (As a side note, i've spent some time this week at his school and in his classroom because of concerns with his teacher and her classroom management/organization/teaching. I came away feeling much better about her but still with some reservations. I know there is no perfect school, perfect class, perfect teacher but i was feeling pretty good about her minus the lack of communication and organization. She loves the kids and there is respect in the classroom. It was quite hectic and noisy at times, but i didn't realize how it was affecting him).

I asked him what might be a solution to this problem. I asked him about going to another class. He said the other two classes are loud, too. I told him we could visit the neighborhood school, check it out, see if we think it would be better. He doesn't want to leave his friends. I mentioned that some of his old friends might be in his class--Owen or Mason or Alysha. I forgot to mention Elijah. I told him we could sit in on the class that has openings and see what we think. And i told him he wouldn't lose his friends now. That we'd still see them at church and with playdates. Not to mention that he'd make new friends.

We kept talking it through. For a second, i thought he was leaning toward the neighborhood school. I told him it wasn't a decision he'd make, but that i wanted him to think about what might make him feel more comfortable and to let me know. I didn't mean right then. I told him to think about it for awhile. But surprisingly, he said he'd like to go to Ms. P's class. I asked about it being just as loud, and he said it's not and that it's organized ("they have a place to put their supplies." My child misses not-a-beat). He said he likes her classroom and thinks that might be a good solution.

I told him I would talk to Ms. G and Ms. P next week and see what we can do. I hate that he's stressed at school. I knew he was taking in and dealing with a lot of stimulation for his sensitive self, but i thought things were getting better. His behavior at home was improving. His sleep was improving. I was feeling like we were getting into some proverbial groove. I thanked him for telling me and told him we'd work on a solution. He said, "I didn't tell you before 'cause i was just trying to deal with it." Oh. My love. I'm so sorry you've been dealing with this on your own for the past six weeks.

And i hope you'll always feel comfortable sharing your worries with me.