It's been 4+ years since i've written anything on this blog. I hate that i don't keep better records of life's happenings, especially with young children who change and have changed so much over the years. I've done them a disservice.

So, i'll start (again) from today.

It is January 10th 2017. Mountain Cedar is in the air so my eyes itch and hay fever is wacky. The weather, after a serious cold snap that brought just the tiniest bit of snow to us winter deprived texans, is again warm and pleasant. This afternoon, i bought some perennials and came straight home and yanked out the overgrown and ugly. I haven't had a lot of luck getting things to grow and look good in front of the house. Here's hoping.

The big news is that i've started working full time in october. I've been home with the kids for seven years. I wanted to stay home after i had Soren. I felt like three kids was a lot and wanted to be home for a year or two. With the move(s), it took seven to go back. It was a huge challenge to find a job. I spent a year trying to get a job as a school nurse but after numerous interviews and rejections (never having been rejected for a job before, it was rather painful), I realized school nursing wasn't my path. I tried to get back into the hospital and labor and delivery but was told i'd basically have to start over. "Go back and work med-surg again" i was told. How does one "go back" and do something they've never done? I was finally offered a job at Medical City Arlington as an RN intern in labor and delivery. So I did sort of "start over" but in the best way possible. L&D is a much better fit for me. Being an intern means i can be a learner for a longer time and really get my feet back under me. It was a rough start (a story for another post maybe), but i'm overall very happy there and feel good working again. I feel like a better person. A better mom. And that's so important. I'm grateful I could stay home. But i've always known i need to work at least a little bit and kick myself in a way. My mental health suffered as i made excuses and saw the obstacles to returning to work rather than finding solutions and making it a priority. I'm 41. Maybe some day i'll learn. Overall, i think it's been positive. My feeling is that the kids are doing fine. They seem to like the handful of sitters we have. They seem to like having a bit more independence and maybe responsibility. I hope that's the case. I check in with them and they say they miss me when i'm gone but they do seem happy just the same. Doug has been hugely supportive and does what he can to make it smooth.

What do i like about working again? I use my brain. L&D nursing is very technical. I have to be on top of my game and understand maternal and fetal physiology. I have to understand what i see when i monitor and understand what that tells me about the baby's status. I have to communicate to my peers and physicians. I have the opportunity to educate moms and families. I have the chance to help someone through life-altering events. I can keep people safe and well and show i care. It's high tech but high touch as well. I have coworkers to talk to and, honestly, i love making money. Nurses don't make a huge salary, but i'm happy bringing home a paycheck.

It's time to walk to the crosswalk to meet Keegen and Soren. My walking buddy Zeb is excited. Another post there, too.